September 24, 2010

alright alright.

life is good. it always has been always will be.
i am moving forward in life and away from the funk of life.

i am having a thankful heart. i am having a heart that is looking towards God and being satisfied with Him. He is all i want right now.

i feel at rest.

September 22, 2010

beauty.

today is beautiful.
the clouds. the rain. love it. love it love it love it!

September 20, 2010

wanted: friend.

wanted: friend.

until this "friend" comes around......
right now it's time for me to get to work on this friendship with God.
He's all we need right? well then why is it so hard somedays?, to be content with that?
why do i make it such a struggle? why do i fight trying to find something, someone "better" than our great and awesome and loving and powerful and amazing God?
i can't and i never will.

September 16, 2010

oh dear.

so today......well let's just say it was alright.
i got out of bed at 4:30 freakin am to go take my parents to the airport...because they are cool like that and like to go celebrate my mama's big 4-0 birthday! happy birthday mama!....and so i had a nice time with them. i love the mornings. i want a friend that likes to be up early in the morning like me. maybe. i don't know. i haven't ever met a friend that likes to be up early with me. i guess i kind of like having the mornings "to myself" and have just my kaitlyn time and do what i want. so it's nice. if i get a friend that likes to up early like me, i will reevaluate this statement. i don't want a happy hello world let's shout it out type of friend...just someone who appreciates being up early...no. just kidding. i want my alone time.
anyways. i spent the day washing my car while karissa washed her car...inside and out. super clean baby! watch...it will rain tomorrow. psh.
that was probably the highlight of my week...past couple of weeks. just spending time with my sister.
these past couple of weeks have been tough. i'm just down and super tough on myself. and this is more of my venting blog. i don't think anyone reads my blogs anymore. so it's fun just to write to myself. it's faster to type than to write with a pen in a journal. so....journal it up baby. so to say that this is my venting blog is not to let anyone give me pity. i'm not seeking it. i'm just stating facts.
and let's see....i think i have celiac disease and i think i'm lactose intolerant and i tweaked my back today.
and it all started at 4:30am. time for bed. and it's before 9! woohoooo.
i have to find a friend to take to the utes game on september 25th. i want to take hank, but he may be in zions or have just gotten home and it might be too much for the little guy. this is depressing. i don't know who to take.
wanted: friend.

ha. i sound so depressing but i honestly don't care. i am depressed. life sucks. stupid jonathon.
i'm moving to seattle.
start over in life.
i will consider it once i go to church on sunday and hear the last of the series on the sermons on song of songs.
i hate facebook now.
i am not a fan of this "battle" of life. i am not finding much joy. i refuse to seek it right now. and once i get over myself....then i'll probably want to stay here and keep fighting the story called life.

life. you. are. hard.

September 9, 2010

update.

3 months of being home. there have been the ups and downs of being home. a lot of adventuring, learning, life.
so let's see....i am now nannying 3 days a week for my great friend hally and her beautiful family. i watch hank (5), wyatt (2), and colt (7 months). and i love each moment i get to spend with this family. i love work, except that it doesn't feel like work, it is such a joyful experience spending my days with them.  i go up on mondays at 2 and spend the day with them and the night there, so that verne and hally may go out on a date night; which is very important...and super cute. i love how beautiful they are to each other and how they choose to spend their date nights. my favorite date night of theirs was when they went on a tandem bike ride together. how romantic. oh and the drive up to their house is amazing, it is quite a drive, but i love it. i love it because it is my alone time with God and my thoughts. and i get to drive up the beautiful mountains up emigration canyon and watch the trees change every week. and the joy of being there every week is to watch how much each child changes, especially colt...oh goodness...how fast he changes! i just love every moment of spending time with the hanssens. they are such a joy and there is peace and joy when i spend time with them. and did i mention that i get to spend the day with my great friend? she is such an encouragement and a huge blessing to me. thank You God for this huge blessing!
ok, i will do more posts on the hanssens later....i still have 3 months to update on.
so i started working in july. in june, i hiked a few times with jenna and jael, my family, friends. we went to stewart falls, lake mary, twin lakes...
in july i hiked to lake blanche with jenna and jael, a week later my dad and i were defeated by twin peaks. that is where i almost died, but God saved me. short story...i slipped on a rock and slid for over 100 feet and by the grace of God, He saved me. and i was scared because i slid past my dad and there was nothing he could do. if i had kept going, i would have slid right off and fallen off a cliff. right now all that is left is a big scar on my leg, and some scarring on my upper legs. so no more swimsuit modeling. :)
in july, i started taking up running more seriously and i am running with trigena halley. she is such a great encourager and motivator. we are going to run in a half marathon in 5 weeks in moab. i am excited. we are going to run 11 miles tomorrow, so in 2-3 weeks we should be running 13 miles and we are just going to keep improving our time so that we can finish in 2-2 1/2 hours. wow! who would have ever thought?
august....just working. i nanny 3 days a week, nanny for mike and crystal york and their baby girl caroline (8 months). i watch her 1-2 times a week every other week. and then amara (22 months) once a week. and when i have free time....babysit. i am thankful for these busy days and all these blessings from God. wow! thanks God!
september....i got another job tutoring. not teaching but helping apply skills to studying and homework time. i am excited for this job. it will be fun. thanks God!
the plan is to go back to school in january at slcc and do my generals and then go on to the u and do psychology with a childhood development/adolescent development minor. this is the direction that i feel God is leading me now...and plans may change but right now i am being obedient and trusting Him.
right now i feel content in life. and bitterness is gone.
jonathon came back and i had not seen him since march 5th. and i saw him september 5th. do the math...6 months. and i hadn't talked to him since july. so....praise God, bitterness is gone and i am content.
life is great. God is great.

June 9, 2010

home.

i am home.

i am struggling. i don't know what to do with myself. before i let the thoughts and the realization of being home sink in, i am going to sleep. 2 days without sleep has done no good to my body.
but i am also rejoicing.
i love hugging my mama, daddy, karissa, kellie and kristopher, giving topaz a belly rub, seeing my dear friend hally and 2 of her boys and the joy i got to see from wyatt being so social, seeing mountains, going for a walk, eating my mama's food, the ending of a crazy long wednesday spent all at the airport, snuggling on the couch and falling asleep to a movie, thunderstorms, summer smells.
i am home. and it's great.
the parts that i was struggling with was unpacking and looking at my room. i don't need a converter for my appliances, i don't have to choose between which button to push for the toilet, i don't have to find a shirt that smells decent to wear it...i know have a whole closet full of options, i hate texting...well not the part where i get to communicate with people, i hate the fact that i "have to" carry a phone around now in order to do that.....now i just don't let texting control my life. it's ok to leave the phone and answer when i feel like getting to it.
the adventure in australia has come to an end.
but the adventure at home is just beginning. and it is off to a great start. thank You God for the safe trip home, that i get to see my family, the rejoicing of reuniting, the joy of being alive, the joy of giving. thank You. thank You for the adventure in australia and that it was a huge part of my life where i got to experience YOU! a little more and was just continually blessed by you daily. and thank You for being with me now and continuing to bless me. thank You for the joy of the adventure of being home.
thank You.
i am home.

June 8, 2010

ugh...

i'm too old for all nighters. one more hour left until i leave for the airport.....staying up all night makes me realize how excited i am to go sleep on the plane. that's another....5 hours away though. oh well. i'll be busy from now until then.
didn't i just get here? seriously....where did the time go?
it was well spent and well enjoyed.
quick facts. i'm freezing. but i'm having my last cuppa tea in australia.
i'm tired. but i'm excited.
i'm......loving life. even with this delusional state of mind.
did you know that when you are awake for more than 17 hours, you can be considered drunk? learned this fun fact off of law and order....but then looked it up. so it's a fact.......i'm 3 hours drunk. pahahahaha!