weekend goal.

so last night i was talking to my good friend natalie when we came up with a goal to help us strengthen and find a new excitement about our relationship with our dear loving Lord. this came to be when we were asking about each other's day and i had replied that mine was just a blah day. when not much had happened, it was thursday...so i had gone to bible study in the morning with some other mums from the kids' school. and it was nice, we are doing a bible study from the book "having a martha heart in a martha world" and this week we talked about "the cure" for worry. i really enjoyed it..it's hard for me to relate with the people there and to relate to the bible study. because it's about worry. and well first of all, they all talk about family worries, and so it's good for me to be prepared and to have some womanly godly wisdom for when i may have a family of my own someday. and hello. i'm in australia. what is there to worry about? i try not to worry because that means that i'm not trusting God with what He has given me. and He will not give me too much of a burden that i cannot handle. "for My yoke is easy and My burden is light" (matthew 11:30). and then i went and took olivia to swimming lessons. 20 minutes once a week. i sure hope she learns how to swim during that time. and then the rest of the day was spent just kind of lounging around. not much went on. and the afternoons are the hardest for me when i have my "alone time" because i just fall to the computer and connect with people back home and don't take advantage of what is going on here. i don't go out and explore brisbane because there is not much to do here. it's a city. and i have done what i felt like i wanted to do. and this week since i have been back from my trip last week, i have been thinking about going home and how excited i am for my time to be here be done. BUT yesterday as i was having a pity party for myself...i thought about: i have been wanting to be here in australia for so long, it was always a dream of mine when i was a young child and i have been counting down for over 190 days to be here. and now that i am here, i want to be at home?! what is this kind of attitude? i have just under a month of being here, so i should take advantage of the time that God has so graciously given me to adventure and to grow closer to Him...that was the whole goal of this trip...to grow closer to God...and the first 2 months i have done that...but i still have even MORE time to do that! why am i not taking advantage of it and using it wisely? do i think that i'll grow closer to God by wanting to be home and thinking about home and the future and what it will be like to be home? uh. well let me answer this for you quickly. NO! so fast forward to thursday night and natalie and i were talking and she asked if there was anything else that i wanted to do in australia. and i said...to be able to love the family, or at least share God's love. friends. i am still struggling. so if you feel like praying...pray that i will just be able to let God love the people that i am with. they so desperately need it, they need Him to be at the center of their lives. and i was expecting them to change while i was here and to mold to what i wanted them to be as a family and after 2 months of not having that happen, i was a little discouraged. and reality is...they are their own family. and my family is different and that's what makes our families different. and my family...i am so thankful for you! thank you for being YOU! and that i also wanted to go to an AFL (football) game while i was here, which is happening at the end of the month. and i want to go to hillsong everyday. oh the spiritual rejuvenation that i receive every sunday. oh how i look forward to it (i was sad that today was only friday. i look forward to worshipping with other PASSIONATE believers every sunday. and it is just so uplifting and ooo! i don't know how to describe it...joyful. my heart just jumps with joy when i am in there with everyone and just feeling God move through everyone that is in the room. we all gather together to worship our loving Creator! let's be excited people!). so after a while of talking and discussing our attitudes and how we need to be living in the moment and live each day TODAY and not living in the future, natalie came up with a genius idea.

Natalie

let's make a goal... for the next three days... to actively pursue God and be extra conscious about growing closer to him.

maybe you have already been doing that

1:48amMe

i like this....take things a step further than what we already do in our lives.

1:48amNatalie

i haven't really... i havent been pursuing Him full heartedly

yes

so no matter where we are at right now

ask God to help us go deeper with him

1:49amMe

oh i haven't either. i haven't been taking advantage of the time that i have been given. and that was kind of something i read about in the next chapter of our bible study today. it's called living room intimacy and where we need to take advantage of the time where God wants to spend time with us. it's not just us wanting to go and spend time with Him, He wants to spend time with us as well. and when i looked at it from that perspective. i was knocked off my feet.

1:50amNatalie

oh yeah, totally.

ok. so for the next three days im am going to make two commitments

i am going to commit to putting God first and allowing him to be in the front of my mind.

and i am going to commit to be praying for you a lot through out the days

pray for your relationship with God and deepening with Him... and whatever else God shows me to be praying for you.

1:51amMe

i like those. ok my 2 commitments are to..3 commitments for the next 3 days: continue to work on having God at the center of my life for the WHOLE day. not just the mornings or evenings. the WHOLE day. and 2. spend an hour with God. lock myself away, turn on music, have my bible out, pray, LISTEN, rejoice, write. spend an hour of quality time with God. 3. pray for you that you will be able to have such a life changing 3 days with God that will totally just rock your world and reshape your life.

1:57amMe

so i think that i will not get on facebook for the next 3 days. but on the 4th day...i'm going to get on and tell you all the things that happened. and what amazing things God did. small or life changing. it will be amazing and i'm excited for these next 3 days of intimacy with our Lord.

so that was the genius idea and let me tell you...day one has been wonderful. it's been going on the whole day! and it started off with waking up at 6 and just handing things back over to our Lord. why do i keep trying to control things that i have no control over? it's not mine to have...so there are days where i have to hand things back over what seems like minute after minute, but it's such a joyful freedom when i release it and hand it over to Him. and then i was laying in bed for a while before i started the day off with proverbs 14. and then i just laid there and prayed. i don't want to sound proud or anything, i just had a huge accomplishment within myself. i prayed for a whole hour. i just laid there and talked with God! i have a hard time listening. i just like to talk and try to make up what i think He would say, or what i want to hear. so i prayed for a clear mind and a heart that would listen. and i tried to keep an empty mind for a while. but i somehow ended up getting distracted and just started talking. which is fine. God wants us to talk to Him. i'm working on the whole listening thing. and with time i hope to one day be able to succeed. towards the end of the hour, i was questioning God why He would want all my sins, doubts, negative thoughts, mistakes...all the yucky stuff, and this is what i heard: so that we can have freedom in worshipping Him. and you know what? that was the best news i had ever heard. at that moment i said, God, You can have it so that nothing is holding me back and so that i can just worship You. before i always had a hard time handing everything over to Him because it never made sense to WHY He would want all the yucky things about my life. He is good, so why give Him the bad stuff? it still doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but what i heard this morning, mm. makes my heart melt in hearing that there is freedom! and that i can just come to Him cleanly and worship Him. just to be in His presence and worship Him with a happy heart. what joy there is in that freedom! what a great way to start my morning. after that hour of just talking to God i listened to holladay's podcast sermon by pastor kevin on the sermon: neighbors (luke 10:25-37) and well what do you know? a lot that i got out of the sermon was what i was talking about with God! hmm. interesting. and the rest of the day was spent...alone in the house...just singing and dancing and worshipping Him. i went on a run in the middle of the day (it is so cold here now that the middle of the day is perfect for running) and listened to History Maker by delirious? and mmm. good beat and it's a new favorite for the moment, that and facedown by matt redman. and hillsong. hillsong will always be a favorite. just worshipping God on my run here in australia. and then after the kids got home...i went on another run and just worshipped God as i did it. and i try to time my runs so i can run back and watch the sun just disappear and watch the sunset. oh beautiful. God. thank You for Your beautiful artwork and creation each night. i love the beautiful paintings in the sky. oh how gracious You are. thank You. 

and i finally ate at mcdonald's here in australia. we went there for dinner. ha. i don't remember what the mcdonald's tastes like at home, but the cheeseburger was sweeter tasting than what i remember.....that's for you aunt quita. 

so...once again. life is good here in australia. i'm still sick. but i have been taking my medicine mother. i take sudafed every 4 hours. and i'm drinking lots of tea. but i think the running isn't helping it. BUT! i have to run mama. i love it! 

OH! great news everybody! i have been praying for tanya (the mama) because she has been taking on a lot of different responsibilities and i have told her that i am here to help and to just let me know what else i can do to help her out. and so finally after praying for a while now for her to not be so stressed out and for me to be able to help out...i think she likes doing everything on her own because she knows it will get done when she does it....i have the same personality..but watching her and doing the bible study has helped me....she was talking about how she has to bake a cake for xavier's birthday and do the party sacks and make food for his party next weekend....AND! i said..let me do it. i'm here all week. it will give me something to do. and her face....oh the smile that came to her face. oh the relief! she was hesitant, but after much convincing that i WANT to do it...i am going to make cupcakes from scratch and the icing and make them a sports theme for xavier and 20 of his friends. and! then i am going to make riley a medieval cake for his medieval project day on wednesday. and i am so super excited for that! and i was looking through the cake decorating books, and i want to make myself a cake. so i am going to make myself a cake and throw myself a party for my last night in australia. i want to make a kangaroo or a koala cake...but i don't think she has the correct pans. so friends back home....maybe i'll just make you all one and we can celebrate that i am home. i just want an excuse to make a cake. so...since she doesn't have the correct pans....i found out how to make an ice cream cake. so i'm going to melt the ice cream, stick yummy australian chocolate lollies in it and then make my ice cream cake! mmm! yummoooooo! deliciousness here at the catford residence here in brisbane. if you all want to join in...you're all more than welcome to! these last 4 weeks are going to be trouble....i think we are going to do a cake a week. tanya said i could bake.....that and brownies almost every night. mmm. party every night in my mouth! i guess it's a good thing i go run, or try to, at least once a day. maybe i need to step it up or just stop eating so i don't gain 50 pounds before i come home. ha! well...it's not every day you're in australia. 

alrighty then. good night all my dear friends. can i just say how thankful i am for the adventure of being here and the adventure that is going on in my heart? God is so good.