i talked to my wonderful loving wise friend yesterday and ahhhh, relief.
the sky is the limit.
everyone else is stepping in different directions, it is just a weird time of life.
it is ok to be feeling what i'm feeling, the loneliness will pass.
this is the time of life where i can do whatever i want....and i will take advantage of it.
the sky is the limit.
i am not tied down to anything and i will never get this time back....so let's get to partying!
thanks God for my good dear loving friend. i treasure her.
i am, satisfied.
relief.
September 28, 2010
September 26, 2010
hahaha. life is so funny somedays.
you think you're almost out.....until the "monster of life that sucks" pulls you right back in again.
September 24, 2010
alright alright.
life is good. it always has been always will be.
i am moving forward in life and away from the funk of life.
i am having a thankful heart. i am having a heart that is looking towards God and being satisfied with Him. He is all i want right now.
i feel at rest.
i am moving forward in life and away from the funk of life.
i am having a thankful heart. i am having a heart that is looking towards God and being satisfied with Him. He is all i want right now.
i feel at rest.
September 22, 2010
September 20, 2010
wanted: friend.
wanted: friend.
until this "friend" comes around......
right now it's time for me to get to work on this friendship with God.
He's all we need right? well then why is it so hard somedays?, to be content with that?
why do i make it such a struggle? why do i fight trying to find something, someone "better" than our great and awesome and loving and powerful and amazing God?
i can't and i never will.
until this "friend" comes around......
right now it's time for me to get to work on this friendship with God.
He's all we need right? well then why is it so hard somedays?, to be content with that?
why do i make it such a struggle? why do i fight trying to find something, someone "better" than our great and awesome and loving and powerful and amazing God?
i can't and i never will.
September 16, 2010
oh dear.
so today......well let's just say it was alright.
i got out of bed at 4:30 freakin am to go take my parents to the airport...because they are cool like that and like to go celebrate my mama's big 4-0 birthday! happy birthday mama!....and so i had a nice time with them. i love the mornings. i want a friend that likes to be up early in the morning like me. maybe. i don't know. i haven't ever met a friend that likes to be up early with me. i guess i kind of like having the mornings "to myself" and have just my kaitlyn time and do what i want. so it's nice. if i get a friend that likes to up early like me, i will reevaluate this statement. i don't want a happy hello world let's shout it out type of friend...just someone who appreciates being up early...no. just kidding. i want my alone time.
anyways. i spent the day washing my car while karissa washed her car...inside and out. super clean baby! watch...it will rain tomorrow. psh.
that was probably the highlight of my week...past couple of weeks. just spending time with my sister.
these past couple of weeks have been tough. i'm just down and super tough on myself. and this is more of my venting blog. i don't think anyone reads my blogs anymore. so it's fun just to write to myself. it's faster to type than to write with a pen in a journal. so....journal it up baby. so to say that this is my venting blog is not to let anyone give me pity. i'm not seeking it. i'm just stating facts.
and let's see....i think i have celiac disease and i think i'm lactose intolerant and i tweaked my back today.
and it all started at 4:30am. time for bed. and it's before 9! woohoooo.
i have to find a friend to take to the utes game on september 25th. i want to take hank, but he may be in zions or have just gotten home and it might be too much for the little guy. this is depressing. i don't know who to take.
wanted: friend.
ha. i sound so depressing but i honestly don't care. i am depressed. life sucks. stupid jonathon.
i'm moving to seattle.
start over in life.
i will consider it once i go to church on sunday and hear the last of the series on the sermons on song of songs.
i hate facebook now.
i am not a fan of this "battle" of life. i am not finding much joy. i refuse to seek it right now. and once i get over myself....then i'll probably want to stay here and keep fighting the story called life.
life. you. are. hard.
i got out of bed at 4:30 freakin am to go take my parents to the airport...because they are cool like that and like to go celebrate my mama's big 4-0 birthday! happy birthday mama!....and so i had a nice time with them. i love the mornings. i want a friend that likes to be up early in the morning like me. maybe. i don't know. i haven't ever met a friend that likes to be up early with me. i guess i kind of like having the mornings "to myself" and have just my kaitlyn time and do what i want. so it's nice. if i get a friend that likes to up early like me, i will reevaluate this statement. i don't want a happy hello world let's shout it out type of friend...just someone who appreciates being up early...no. just kidding. i want my alone time.
anyways. i spent the day washing my car while karissa washed her car...inside and out. super clean baby! watch...it will rain tomorrow. psh.
that was probably the highlight of my week...past couple of weeks. just spending time with my sister.
these past couple of weeks have been tough. i'm just down and super tough on myself. and this is more of my venting blog. i don't think anyone reads my blogs anymore. so it's fun just to write to myself. it's faster to type than to write with a pen in a journal. so....journal it up baby. so to say that this is my venting blog is not to let anyone give me pity. i'm not seeking it. i'm just stating facts.
and let's see....i think i have celiac disease and i think i'm lactose intolerant and i tweaked my back today.
and it all started at 4:30am. time for bed. and it's before 9! woohoooo.
i have to find a friend to take to the utes game on september 25th. i want to take hank, but he may be in zions or have just gotten home and it might be too much for the little guy. this is depressing. i don't know who to take.
wanted: friend.
ha. i sound so depressing but i honestly don't care. i am depressed. life sucks. stupid jonathon.
i'm moving to seattle.
start over in life.
i will consider it once i go to church on sunday and hear the last of the series on the sermons on song of songs.
i hate facebook now.
i am not a fan of this "battle" of life. i am not finding much joy. i refuse to seek it right now. and once i get over myself....then i'll probably want to stay here and keep fighting the story called life.
life. you. are. hard.
September 9, 2010
update.
3 months of being home. there have been the ups and downs of being home. a lot of adventuring, learning, life.
so let's see....i am now nannying 3 days a week for my great friend hally and her beautiful family. i watch hank (5), wyatt (2), and colt (7 months). and i love each moment i get to spend with this family. i love work, except that it doesn't feel like work, it is such a joyful experience spending my days with them. i go up on mondays at 2 and spend the day with them and the night there, so that verne and hally may go out on a date night; which is very important...and super cute. i love how beautiful they are to each other and how they choose to spend their date nights. my favorite date night of theirs was when they went on a tandem bike ride together. how romantic. oh and the drive up to their house is amazing, it is quite a drive, but i love it. i love it because it is my alone time with God and my thoughts. and i get to drive up the beautiful mountains up emigration canyon and watch the trees change every week. and the joy of being there every week is to watch how much each child changes, especially colt...oh goodness...how fast he changes! i just love every moment of spending time with the hanssens. they are such a joy and there is peace and joy when i spend time with them. and did i mention that i get to spend the day with my great friend? she is such an encouragement and a huge blessing to me. thank You God for this huge blessing!
ok, i will do more posts on the hanssens later....i still have 3 months to update on.
so i started working in july. in june, i hiked a few times with jenna and jael, my family, friends. we went to stewart falls, lake mary, twin lakes...
in july i hiked to lake blanche with jenna and jael, a week later my dad and i were defeated by twin peaks. that is where i almost died, but God saved me. short story...i slipped on a rock and slid for over 100 feet and by the grace of God, He saved me. and i was scared because i slid past my dad and there was nothing he could do. if i had kept going, i would have slid right off and fallen off a cliff. right now all that is left is a big scar on my leg, and some scarring on my upper legs. so no more swimsuit modeling. :)
in july, i started taking up running more seriously and i am running with trigena halley. she is such a great encourager and motivator. we are going to run in a half marathon in 5 weeks in moab. i am excited. we are going to run 11 miles tomorrow, so in 2-3 weeks we should be running 13 miles and we are just going to keep improving our time so that we can finish in 2-2 1/2 hours. wow! who would have ever thought?
august....just working. i nanny 3 days a week, nanny for mike and crystal york and their baby girl caroline (8 months). i watch her 1-2 times a week every other week. and then amara (22 months) once a week. and when i have free time....babysit. i am thankful for these busy days and all these blessings from God. wow! thanks God!
september....i got another job tutoring. not teaching but helping apply skills to studying and homework time. i am excited for this job. it will be fun. thanks God!
the plan is to go back to school in january at slcc and do my generals and then go on to the u and do psychology with a childhood development/adolescent development minor. this is the direction that i feel God is leading me now...and plans may change but right now i am being obedient and trusting Him.
right now i feel content in life. and bitterness is gone.
jonathon came back and i had not seen him since march 5th. and i saw him september 5th. do the math...6 months. and i hadn't talked to him since july. so....praise God, bitterness is gone and i am content.
life is great. God is great.
so let's see....i am now nannying 3 days a week for my great friend hally and her beautiful family. i watch hank (5), wyatt (2), and colt (7 months). and i love each moment i get to spend with this family. i love work, except that it doesn't feel like work, it is such a joyful experience spending my days with them. i go up on mondays at 2 and spend the day with them and the night there, so that verne and hally may go out on a date night; which is very important...and super cute. i love how beautiful they are to each other and how they choose to spend their date nights. my favorite date night of theirs was when they went on a tandem bike ride together. how romantic. oh and the drive up to their house is amazing, it is quite a drive, but i love it. i love it because it is my alone time with God and my thoughts. and i get to drive up the beautiful mountains up emigration canyon and watch the trees change every week. and the joy of being there every week is to watch how much each child changes, especially colt...oh goodness...how fast he changes! i just love every moment of spending time with the hanssens. they are such a joy and there is peace and joy when i spend time with them. and did i mention that i get to spend the day with my great friend? she is such an encouragement and a huge blessing to me. thank You God for this huge blessing!
ok, i will do more posts on the hanssens later....i still have 3 months to update on.
so i started working in july. in june, i hiked a few times with jenna and jael, my family, friends. we went to stewart falls, lake mary, twin lakes...
in july i hiked to lake blanche with jenna and jael, a week later my dad and i were defeated by twin peaks. that is where i almost died, but God saved me. short story...i slipped on a rock and slid for over 100 feet and by the grace of God, He saved me. and i was scared because i slid past my dad and there was nothing he could do. if i had kept going, i would have slid right off and fallen off a cliff. right now all that is left is a big scar on my leg, and some scarring on my upper legs. so no more swimsuit modeling. :)
in july, i started taking up running more seriously and i am running with trigena halley. she is such a great encourager and motivator. we are going to run in a half marathon in 5 weeks in moab. i am excited. we are going to run 11 miles tomorrow, so in 2-3 weeks we should be running 13 miles and we are just going to keep improving our time so that we can finish in 2-2 1/2 hours. wow! who would have ever thought?
august....just working. i nanny 3 days a week, nanny for mike and crystal york and their baby girl caroline (8 months). i watch her 1-2 times a week every other week. and then amara (22 months) once a week. and when i have free time....babysit. i am thankful for these busy days and all these blessings from God. wow! thanks God!
september....i got another job tutoring. not teaching but helping apply skills to studying and homework time. i am excited for this job. it will be fun. thanks God!
the plan is to go back to school in january at slcc and do my generals and then go on to the u and do psychology with a childhood development/adolescent development minor. this is the direction that i feel God is leading me now...and plans may change but right now i am being obedient and trusting Him.
right now i feel content in life. and bitterness is gone.
jonathon came back and i had not seen him since march 5th. and i saw him september 5th. do the math...6 months. and i hadn't talked to him since july. so....praise God, bitterness is gone and i am content.
life is great. God is great.
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